BEING A FATHER IN PUROK BANGKAL

I was not much of a father to my children in my previous life: that is my life before I had a relationship with Jesus Christ. In fact, I was not only remiss as a father, I was a complete failure and this failure caused great suffering to my children. Even now knowing the deep seated pain I caused them I continue to pray that God completely heal their wounds.

How could I even hope to be a good father to my children then, when I did not even have a relationship with God, our Father in heaven? But then we have a God that redeems and restores making it possible for me to experience being a father (the right father) all over again as His grace finds me in Purok Bangkal. Here, I am present as a father to many. The truth is I look at these children as my own.
I lost my father when I was a young man and for me it has been a long, hard search for a father, many times in the wrong places. I was angry at my father for dying on me and blamed God for bringing about his death. The day my father died was also the day I stopped believing in God. It took a long time before I accepted the grace of God and to have once again a relationship with God my Father in heaven.
I now realize that the presence or the absence of a father in the life of a child makes or breaks the child. It is the father, more than anyone else that establishes the identity of a child. If he is not present to do so, the child suffers life-long wounds that may never completely heal.

The legitimate child carries the name of the father and when a child bears the mother’s name we know right away there is something wrong. The stigma of illegitimacy is a heavy burden to carry and the terrible hurt it causes is hard to overcome. Children born out of wedlock suffer much.
Illegitimacy is the failure of the father to be responsible for a child. But even if a child is from a legitimate union, if the father does not take responsibility to be a father, be present to his children, to guide them even discipline them; to provide for them adequately and give the sense of security a child needs, then the child suffers equally grievous wounds.

We need fathers to be fathers to their children and not just father children. Any fool can be a father but being a father to a child requires much from a man and the real father takes after our Father in heaven who is out for the interest of His children. God desires to share the goodness only He could bring. Our Father in heaven is for us and this is how our earthly fathers should be.

God our Father loves unconditionally and forgives all. This is the relationship we should realize: the identity only God could give. We are His children. God calls us son…God calls us daughter and only this identity could set us right with all the other relationships we have or will have. 
My children are all grown up now with lives of their own. I have asked forgiveness from them for the hurt and pain I caused them. All live apart from me. My eldest son (who is thirty years old) and daughter are in the US and have been for these past twenty years. 
My other son and youngest daughter (who is twenty-four) are here in the Philippines. My youngest daughter lives in Bacolod and has a daughter who will be two years old this November. My granddaughter gives me so much happiness. She is such a blessing to me. 
My youngest daughter is closest to me because of the time we have spent together. It was difficult at first but God has restored our relationship as father and daughter. My granddaughter has even brought my daughter and I closer.

But my youngest son still bears much resentment and anger towards me and our failed relationship. Our attempt at a father and son relationship after an absence of over seventeen years ended in dismal failure. We cannot live together. He is hell bent on self-destruction. There is so much hate in him and this is all because I abandoned him. I was not present as a father to him.
He blames me for his continued suffering in life. His only hope is a relationship with Jesus Christ and I pray that he too will one day find this greatest need of his life. Until he establishes this relationship and know his identity from God our Father, he could never be a good father to his children. He could never be good to anyone.

I missed out being a father to my own children. But here in Purok Bangkal, God has so blessed me by giving me this opportunity to experience being a father in its real sense. What I missed out on, God brings back to me in full measure and this time He has prepared me for the role.

In Purok Bangkal, I have simply decided to be a father to these children not in any way trying to replace their fathers (for those who have fathers) but establishing and building a relationship with them in a way a good father should. 

I have decided to love these children and I will move to meet their needs. Because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I know my Father in Heaven, I too am able to extend love to these children. God is good and I am being a father in Purok Bangkal only because He is.